What's inside, Elmo?
The pictures are from this site, which shows the mechanisms inside some toys. Looking at them, I can't help wondering what my mechanism is, not the flesh and bone, but the basic drives once the identity is removed. What the deep set animal nature is, without history.
I'm usually pretty adept at leaping on and off the hedonic treadmill randomly and often enough to keep things feeling good. But somewhat overwhelmed by work / lack of sleep / poor food & drink choices the last few days, trapped in patterns of narrow focus, the kind that make my eyes ache. I feel like I'm a few centimeters off from a comfortable fit, and the danger is that I'll force myself into place instead of letting the dimensions of either myself and / or my surroundings rearrange naturally. It's annoying to know that contentment, even bliss, is just a state of mind away, that the mental processes needed are beyond access today. So, a beer, a hot shower, and an early night, let things fall into place. I'm very good at dreaming.
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