January 25, 2010

Not drowning, but waving

I got my first positive response from an unknown reader a few weeks ago, and then didn't post anymore. The events were unrelated, I just let myself slip out of time for a while. I've been away doing other things, and it was confusing, but very soon it all made sense. My life has totally changed, and I'm still in the process of hitting old beliefs and seeing if they ring true.

When I was a teenager I got given a copy of 'Notes from the Underground' and sat down and read it in one go, glowing in recognition that someone had got things down true. I'd never been much of a reader before that, but starting the next day I began to read everything, and my life was changed by that night.

A little later than that I took LSD for the first time, and all the things I'd read about it were true, but more so, and everything changed again. All the old beliefs had to be questioned, a process that's ongoing - the psychedelic life.

And the same thing happened when I met this woman about a month ago, and knew fast that my old life would have to end if I was going to live at all honestly with the truth of what had happened. My life fell apart and came together over the course of a few hours, but there were still some things I had to change if I was ever going to walk straight again.

Things are still kind of fucked up, objectively speaking, at the home of A DEEP LUST, but subjectively they're better than they've ever been, and I've got full confidence in how things will play out over time - the past few weeks the universe has been conspiring in my favor.

Normal posting will resume when my head falls in place.

January 05, 2010

Fractals from roots

No real idea of the math behind it, but a great set of images via John Baez [click the name for full post], who writes:
My friend Dan Christensen has created a fascinating picture of all the roots of all polynomials of degree ≤ 5 with integer coefficients ranging from -4 to 4.
Sam Derbyshire then went on to investigate Chrtistensen's image, above, at a higher resolution and came up with several images, including the ones below, both of which can be clicked and enlarged. It seems like a very interesting environment to poke around in, and it's all real.

All posts tagged fractals.

January 04, 2010

Signal / noise

Following on from the last post, I kind of reset my head the other week at the beach (and in a new year frame of mind), so I'm going to try and take my hands off the controls for the foreseeable future [which with me, is very short]. What this means is focusing solely on inputs inre. overall well-being, and not worrying about the outputs.

What this means in more detail is:
  • work hard / well
  • save $
  • keep active
  • eat right
  • socialize
  • be nice
  • drink less
Only the last item is a change in the current regime, but a small thing that ought to make a huge difference to how things play out.

January 01, 2010

Love as an emergent behavior

Love as an emergent behavior - in which case focus on the inputs and not the outputs, to which we have little direct access and even less control.