Fuck everything

by leonard eisenberg, via evogeneo

A post a while back called sex in time, about speciation that ended with the line

...if all the 'species' ever extant where brought back to life there could be one unbroken chain of fucking going right back to the first creatures that invented sex...

Hence the nice picture above, click to enlage, then imagine the scene.

brooks too broad for leaping

I met a guy a a few months ago who had lived for three or four years in a famous Asian city. He worked in nightlife, and told me that he had slept with three or four hundred women in that time. It didn't surprise me, as he'd been quite open about paying for sex , and so a number two or three times that would have been reasonable too. But I must getting old, or sensible, or between mid-life crises, because there was no sense of shame, regret or envy that at sex partners he had me beat by an order of magnitude. It was an odd feeling, feeling nothing.

harland miller

More from Procopius, this time on Theodora, future wife of Justinian, emperor of Rome:

She used to tease her lovers by keeping them waiting, and by constantly playing about with novel methods of intercourse she could always bring the lascivious to her feet; so far from waiting to be invited by anyone she encountered, she herself by cracking dirty jokes and wiggling her hips suggestively would invite all who came her way, especially if they were still in their teens. Never was anyone so completely given up to unlimited self-indulgence. Often she would go to a bring-your-own-food dinner-party with ten young men or more, all at the peak of their physical powers and with fornication as their chief object in life, and would lie with all her fellow-diners in turn the whole night long: when she had reduced them all to a state of exhaustion she would go to their menials, as many as thirty on occasion, and copulate with every one of them; but not even so could she satisfy her lust.

One night she went into the house of a distinguished citizen during the drinking, and, it is said, before the eyes of all the guests she stood up on the end of the couch near their feet, pulled up her dress in the most disgusting manner as she stood there, and brazenly displayed her lasciviousness. And though she brought three openings into service, she often found fault with Nature, grumbling because Nature had not made the openings in her nipples wider than is normal, so that she could devise another variety of intercourse in that region.

Procopius, The Secret History, p82 [although I Googled, copy / pasted from here]

And on the same theme, Seutonius on Caligula [From The Lives of the Twelve Caesars - full text]:

He had not the slightest regard for chastity, either his own or others', and was accused of homosexual relations, both active and passive, with Marcus Lepidus, also Mnester the comedian, and various foreign hostages; moreover, a young man of a consular family, Valerius Catullus, revealed publicly that he had buggered the Emperor, and quite worn himself out in the process. Besides incest with his sisters, and a notorious passion for the prostitute Pyrallis, he made advances to almost every woman of rank in Rome; after inviting a selection of them to dinner with their husbands he would slowly and carefully examine each in turn while they passed his couch, as a purchaser might assess the value of a slave, and even stretch out his hand and lift up the chin of any woman who kept her eyes modestly cast down. Then, whenever he felt so inclined, he would send for whoever pleased him best and leave the banquet in her company. A little later he would return, showing obvious signs of what he had been about, and openly discuss his bed-fellow in detail, dwelling on her good and bad physical points and commenting on her sexual performance.